All My Love
by kingszey
Summary: "...because having you there with me was so much better, and it didn't make the memories hurt at all. I realized I loved you on that day, I loved that memory." During the war, Ginny receives a letter from the absent Harry.


Ginny's mood had been decidedly blue for a long, long time.

How could she feel anything else under the current circumstances? Hogwarts was less of a refuge and more of a prison, with Snape as headmaster and the Carrow's torturing any trouble-makers. Her family was constantly in danger. Her brother had disappeared on some sort of mission with her best friend and (ex)boyfriend – who knew if they'd return?

She swung her feet absently as she stared out of the common room window. She had been doing homework, but she had given up trying to make sense of the words in front of her and had instead taken to twirling her quill between her fingers as she thought.

The sky was stormy but rain had not yet broken through the grey clouds. Not a single star could be seen through the cover, try as she might to find one.

The outside was such a contrast the the common room, with it's blazing fires, warm couches, and (slightly more subdued) students. It was so familiar to her, but instead of comforting her, it sent a wave of longing through her, so great she felt as though it almost stopped her heart.

Movement outside the dreary window brought her back to full consciousness. An owl was fighting it's way towards the window, battling the winds bravely. She fumbled for the latch and opened the window just in time for the owl to collapse into the common room, sinking tiredly onto Ginny's now-soaked homework.

There was a bit of a fuss as some of the other sixth year girls attempted to revive the owl and save her homework, but Ginny barely noticed. The letter that her shaking hands had untied from the owl's foot had _her _name on it – and that cramped, slanted writing was so familiar…

She raced to her room and onto her bed, pulling the curtains around it shut. If it was from who she thought it was, then she needed complete privacy to read it.

Her whole body was trembling as she pulled the ripped, dirty parchment from it's envelope. Forcing her breath to steady, she began reading Harry's letter.

_Ginny,_

_Hi. I know it is dangerous and unwise to be sending you letters_ _(anyone could track or search the owl, as Hermione told me, and give our location away) but I simply couldn't bear not talking to you._

_I know we're not dating anymore – in fact, I'm painfully aware of that. The thing is, Ginny, though we may not be dating, I think I'm in love with you. And you might protest at first, because you're not one of those girly-girls who swoon over those words, but it's true. If this isn't love – and I'm sorry I'm so new to this – then how can you explain the way you've never made more sense than when you whispered to me how none of this is supposed to?_

_Honestly, Ginny, the way that I can be certain that this is love is that when – if – I see you again, it'll be like we only parted that morning, and nothing will have changed. Well, I hope so, anyway. I can't wait for the day that I get to reach out and touch you once more, not only with my hands, but with my heart._

_Do you remember, when you were in your fifth year and I in my sixth, the time that we went to Hogsmeade together? No Ron or Hermione or any of your friends, just us and the frozen beauty of the winter. We had coffee in that disgusting Madame Padifoots place, and we sniggered together about how repulsive we found it. And it didn't even matter that I had been there with Cho before, because having you there with me was so much better, and it didn't make the memories hurt at all. I realized I loved you on that day, I loved that memory._

_Remember when we were just friends? Before I started falling head over heels for you and before you started dating other guys to make me want you? (Yes, I know about that). I guess somewhere along the way we changed, because when I kissed you after the quidditch match where everyone could see, I just knew that it was the one right thing I'd done in my life._

_You're probably wondering why I'm saying all this now, and not when I had the chance to hold you while I said it, when I had the chance to make you listen. I should have said all this before we left. I tired to tell you. I tried to tell you that I'm still in love with you, but the words got all tangled in my throat and I couldn't get them out. And now it's too late to say them to your face, but I have to say them before I die. I think of all the thought's I've lost because I didn't write them down, and I don't want to lose these ones too. They're so important to me, Ginny._

_I've tried to write this letter numerous times, but Hermione and Ron kept catching me. Each time that they tell me it's too dangerous, that it'll give us away, that I can't show the Dark Lord that I'm still close to you, I agree with them. I promise to not contact you, for the good of us all. We both know I should have stayed right away from you from the very start, just as we both knew I'm not strong enough to do that._

_I'll have to sign off soon, Ginny. Just know that you are so beautiful. It's not always in what you look like, though you are beautiful in that way too. It's just what you are. The way you furrow your brow when you read, or the way you sigh in your sleep, or the way you bite your lip when you're deciding whether to laugh or cry. It's these tiny things that you don't even realize you do that have me falling in love with you more and more every day._

_Don't try to reply to me, it's not safe. I mean, it means everything to me to know that you've read this, but do not reply just to set my mind at ease. I'll just have to trust in fate, or the stars, or that God person that Lavender learned about in muggle studies, whoever he is._

_With all my love (but not only my love. With all my regret and those tiny scraps of hope I cling to as well),_

_Harry._


End file.
